TimeSplitters Wiki
Species Alien/Squid
Size Normal
Native Timezone 2401
Related Characters Chinese Chef (Meat-prizer)
Gaston Boucher (Meat-prizer)
Games TimeSplitters 2
TimeSplitters Future Perfect

The Calamari is an oversized green alien squid, whom can wield any kind of gun against its foes, despite its lack of hands. Calamari is from another planet and stowed away on board the Space Station (Story) in order to escape his oceanic planet. Outside of Story mode, however, he is often associated with the Chinese restaurant.


TimeSplitters 2

TS2 Calamari Small.png Calamari

Star 2.gif
Unlock Arcade League > Honorary League > Burns n' Bangs > Chinese Burns with Silver or better
Gallery A political refugee from a distant ocean planet, Calamari hid in a cupboard when the TimeSplitters attacked the space station
Accuracy Agility Stamina
7/20 6/20 12/20

Calamari first appears in TimeSplitters 2, serving as a joke character. He appears in the Challenge Chinese Burns, where the Calamari is being used as part of a Chinese dish. Other than that, he only appears in the Scrapyard Bot Set. His gallery mentions that he hid in a cupboard when the TimeSplitters attacked the Space Station, though he does not feature in the Story mode of the game.

TimeSplitters Future Perfect

TSFP Calamari Small.png Calamari

Star 1.gif
Unlock Default
Gallery There's a difference of opinion here--the Chinese Chef favours a sweet and sour sauce whilst the Gaston Boucher suggests pan frying with chorizo. Calamari says they'll have to prise the gun out of his cold dead tentacles.
Gesture Spins around in air while saying "Someone's pinched me winkles!"
Speed Stamina Shock Proof Fire Proof
5/8 5/8 5/8 5/8

Calamari returns in TimeSplitters Future Perfect. Rather than acting as the political refugee he is mentioned as being in the previous game, he serves as a highly-contested delicacy, wanted by the Chinese Chef and Gaston Boucher in order to be cooked. He appears in one Arcade League match located at the Chinese restaurant, and officially appears in the Chinese Bot Set, as well as the Creatures bot set.


2401, Space Station

Calamari, a member of an unknown squid-like race, was a political refugee of an oceanic planet who was on the Space Station. When the TimeSplitters attacked, he hid himself in a cupboard while the TimeSplitters invaded and killed the Troopers. It is unknown whether he ever managed to escape, but it is highly likely he perished along with the Station.


  • Calamari is a squid with ten tentacles, and is a popular delicacy in and around the Mediterranean. Although real calamari has ten legs, the Calamari in TS2 and TSFP has only two.
  • At the end of Future Perfect, one of the Cortezes mentions after Crow's defeat that "(He's) never eating calamari again". It is unknown why.
  • In his gesture, he has a Cockney accent.
  • He is the only alien is the series to appear in more than one game.
  • His pain/death voice clips - and fire scream - are exclusive to him.
  • He, Snowman and Med-Unit 6 have the same gesture, but all three of them use unique gesture dialogue.